In 2005 Donald Miller started The Mentoring Project, an organization that helps churches start mentoring programs and pairs mentors with boys in need. Don’s work with the fatherless led the Obama administration to invite him onto the president’s task force on fatherlessness and mentoring. In 2006 Donald’s book To Own A Dragon: Reflections On Growing Up Without A Father was published. The book is Don’s reflections on growing up without a father (whom he didn’t even meet until he was 35), and the struggles it caused him. In April 2010 To Own A Dragon was reprinted with new chapters and a new title - Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation.

I bought a copy of To Own A Dragon when it came out, but I still haven’t made it all the way through. Not that it isn’t a good read; on the contrary, I love Don’s works. But as someone who, for the most part, grew up without a father and having confronted those demons and made peace with my father, To Own A Dragon is, for me, more of a guide in helping others who are fatherless than helping myself. However, I do plan on buying a copy of the reprint for the new chapters.

Anyways, I’ve been following The Mentoring Project for a couple years now and the statistics Don presents in To Own A Dragon and A Million Miles In A Thousand Years are staggering. Twenty-seven million kids are currently growing up without dads, teens who grow up without a father are more prone to suicide, dropping out of school, drug use, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, divorce and crime. Eighty-five percent of the U.S. prison population grew up fatherless. Coincidence?

Big Brothers/Big Sisters has a thousand boy waiting list, but no waiting list for the girls. That’s a national average for cities across the U.S. There’s 360,000 churches in the United States – what if each one partnered with The Mentoring Project? The goal of The Mentoring Project is to take that waiting list all across the country down to zero through the church. According to Don, “we could potentially mentor all the fatherless boys in America within twenty years, effectively shutting down prisons, curbing teen pregnancy and abortion, curbing the divorce rate…. all those issues would be taken care of through the church.”

Also in the interview, Don highlights the successes they’re already seeing through The Mentoring Project. Imago Dei, one of their partner churches in Portland, Oregon, was recently asked by the Portland Independent School District to provide 500 more mentors for their students!

I should also clarify Donald’s definition of “growing up fatherless” isn’t exclusive to those who were raised by a single mother or orphans and foster children. Absentee fathers are just as big of a problem. Absentee fathers are men who, while still maintaining a home in the traditional sense (husband + wife + children = family), neglect their children, aren’t good examples of what a husband and father should be and therefore aren’t good examples of what a man should be. I was listening to an interview with Donald and he made a good point: the issue isn’t just a fatherlessness issue, it’s a masculinity issue. We have a crisis of masculinity. To quote Donald:

We have a problem where men really don’t know how to be men or what being a man looks like. So you have passive men and then you have the over-macho shouting man, and something’s wrong with both of those pictures.

As Mark Driscoll once said, “we have a lot of boys who can shave”. A lot of men aren’t really men, but boys trapped in a man’s body, clinging to adolescence and not knowing what it really means to be a man. To quote Driscoll:

The sweet-spot is like 18-34 for demographics, because what they do is they know that you guys don’t know what it means to be a man and so they tell you that being a man is defined not by what you produce, but by what you consume.

“Drink this beer, you’ll be a man!”
“Drive this truck, you’ll be a man!”
“Play these video games, you’ll be a man!”

Really?
Seriously?

All too often we’re told our manliness comes from what we consume, but the truth is, when you die, no one is going to care how many women you slept with or how many times you drank your buddies under the table.

What people will remember is what you gave back – what you produced.

So, in honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to thank those men who have been my mentors. Just to clarify, I love my father. And he loves me. He knows he hasn’t been the father he wanted to be. He knows his poor choices in life led to consequences such as divorce and my fatherlessness. And I’ve forgiven him for that. To all reading this, if your father is still alive, make sure you have some type of contact with him on Father’s Day. Whether he was there for you as a child or not, make the effort to show him love. As for the men who have mentored me and at one time or another stepped into that father figure role, thank you. I’m far from perfect, but I don’t even want to know where I’d be had it not been for all of you. I’ve listed their names below as a sort of public thanks (alphabetical order):

Mark Bennett, Allen Boehm, Ron Brown, Lee Haynes, Chad Hays, Mark Leonhardt, Jeremy McCaa, Kenny McCaa, Joey Metz, Arvil Ogle, Phil Parker, Brent Stephens and Troy Wold.

Links:
Donald Miller
The Mentoring Project
Catalyst Interview With Donald Miller
Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation
A Million Miles In A Thousand Years
Mark Driscoll on Adolescence

John Piper is taking 8 months off to examine his ministry, marriage and family. Pray for Pastor John.

Now, I don’t know about you, but the first thought that came to mind (God forgive me) was moral failure.

Thankfully, I was wrong.

After reading the entire blog post from Pastor John, I’m actually speechless. Here’s an excerpt:

I asked the elders to consider this leave because of a growing sense that my soul, my marriage, my family, and my ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit. On the one hand, I love my Lord, my wife, my five children and their families first and foremost; and I love my work of preaching and writing and leading Bethlehem. I hope the Lord gives me at least five more years as the pastor for preaching and vision at Bethlehem.

But on the other hand, I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry. Since I don’t have just one deed to point to, I simply ask for a spirit of forgiveness; and I give you as much assurance as I can that I am not making peace, but war, with my own sins.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

Wow.

I don’t always agree with Piper’s teachings, but those differences are with secondary issues. I pray God raises up more pastors and leaders like John Piper. Leaders who aren’t ashamed to admit they are human and as such have flaws that they allow God to reveal to them and then work out of them.

Click here to read the full article.

C’mon. I know some of you wish you were still a kid just so you could dress up.

Yet, it’s also the time of year I get slammed the most by other Christians. 

“Halloween is All Hallows Eve”

“It’s a Pagan holiday”

And so on. 

You know what?

I agree.

So I won’t use this space to try to justify my celebration (even if that only amounts to watching a movie on TV), nor will I use it to judge those who overindulge in celebration.

However, I do want to ask a couple questions of those who disapprove of celebrating Halloween.

Why is the celebration of our Savior’s death and resurrection called Easter?

Why do we celebrate our Savior’s birth in December when most theologians agree that Jesus was probably born in September or October?

Are there any Christmas or Easter traditions that Christians have that are not of Christian origin? 

By the way, don’t comment unless you include answers to at least one of those questions. They’re pretty easy to find.

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.

Proposition 8 is a highly debated bill that would add a constitutional amendment to the California State Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman. For those who don’t watch the news or spend all their internet time on MySpace, this has been a big issue in Cali for several years now. In May the California State Supreme Court struck down an earlier proposition (Prop 22) that had defined marriage as between one man and one woman; Prop 22 had only been a statute, making it more vulnerable to judicial nullification. Reference

Some of you are probably thinking, “This is in California, why should I care?”

It’ll be in your state soon enough. Which brings me to the predicament I’m in.

As a Christian I believe the Bible is very clear on the issue of homosexuality; it is sin. This isn’t an open hand issue, where God is silent or it was a “cultural thing”. The Bible says homosexuality is a sin and as a Christian, I believe you should vote your beliefs.

But I also believe the Bible calls the church (local and universal) to love. Last time I checked, Jesus said in Matthew 22:39 and Mark 12:31 to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

He didn’t say love your Christian neighbor, or love the neighbor who believes the same as you. It was an all-inclusive command. Love your friends, love your enemies, love Republicans, love Democrats, love the guy in history class that you avoid because he’s gay, love the alcoholic sitting in the cubicle next to you, love the pastor who sins through pride, etc.

I’m not suggesting Christians should support gay marriage; but I keep asking myself, “Where have I heard all this before?”, and then I remember going to pro-life rallies and marches as a kid. Yeah, voting pro-life really got us somewhere, didn’t it?

In case you’ve been living in a cave for the last eight years, having a “pro-life president” didn’t really make things better. Abortion rates are higher now than they were eight years ago.

Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not blaming W.

But as Ed Stetzer said at Catalyst 2008, “The church is going to be God’s instrument to bring about change, not a political candidate.”

What this means is that while you should vote however you feel God leading you to, don’t stop there.

BE THE CHURCH.

Reach out. Instead of picketting an abortion clinic, offer help to those who are considering abortions. And by help I don’t mean calling them a murderer and shoving a Bible in their face. That isn’t love.

There is a ministry here in Monroe called Life Choices. They offer counseling services, financial assistance, and help to pregnant women in need.

Why aren’t there more ministries like this? Every city in America has a Planned Parenthood within driving distance; there should be places like Life Choices as well.

Back to Proposition 8; I have friends who are gay and the marriage issue for them isn’t a religious one. It’s about rights. Ever go to the emergency room at a hospital and visit someone who isn’t immediate family? It’s nearly impossible to get in. Know someone who didn’t have life insurance (or at the least, inadequate coverage) and died leaving behind a spouse? I do. A friend of mine’s husband died a few years back, leaving her and their daughter behind. Luckily, the family wasn’t in debt, but he didn’t have any form of life insurance and he had been the primary provider of their family. So she had to go out and find whatever work she could to support herself and her daughter.

Now think about those situations the way a gay person would.

I had a gay friend ask me once, “If I died and left my partner behind with nothing, would Christians help him? Or would they look at it as “justice”?”

As Christians, we have no problem judging and condemning people. I’m guilty of it myself. We have no problem pointing out to others where they’ve sinned. We have no problem shoving the Bible down someone’s throat, all in an effort to prove “I’m right and you’re wrong.”

But when it comes to the second of only two commandments Jesus gave us, we don’t do so well do we?

Sure, we preach love. Go to any church Sunday and you’ll see some sort of welcome, whether it be in a bulletin or on a screen or on a marquee, that says something along the lines of “You are loved” or “You are welcome” or “Come as you are”. But we don’t live it. We don’t practice it.

I’ve included a link to the blog that really got me thinking about this and Alex sums it up perfectly by saying “if we are going to impose this prop, the church better get busy meeting the needs of people like this.”

What are your thoughts?

Alex McLean – BetterThanBlank

Posted using ShareThis

Courtesy of Irving Bible Church.

I know. Duh moment.

And I’ve read enough books to know that as well. Sex God, The Radical Reformission, Vintage Jesus; they all make this point concerning being a good husband and father.

But the statistics are still there. Fifty percent of marriages fail, and those whose parents are divorced are fifty percent more likely to go through at least one divorce themselves.

I don’t like those statistics. Not for anyone, but especially not for me.

Which is why I love what Brent said about legacy. He talked about how his grandfather decided that even though no one in previous generations gave a crap about legacy, he was going to be the one who changed that, even if he didn’t reap the benefits in this life. And because of his grandfather’s decision; because his grandfather took the road less traveled decided to follow Jesus with everything he was, to be a Godly husband and father; because he thought of his family and future generations instead of himself, his son, grandson (Brent) and now his great-grandchildren have a legacy. When people meet Brent and find out he’s J.A.’s grandson and James David’s son, they are impressed. Even though they don’t know anything about Brent, he has he grandfather’s and father’s legacy and reputation. And what Brent said was that for those who have not had a good legacy passed down through the generations, it is up to us to change that. So while I may not have much of a legacy from my father or those before him, I’ll be damned if I don’t leave one for my children and grandchildren and so on. Wouldn’t it be great if 250 years from now, my great-great-great-great-great-great (you get the point) grandson introduces himself to people and they say, “You’re a Jones? You come from good stock.”

I guess you could this is my declaration.

J